Why being ghosted is a good thing

Black coffee explains why being ghosted isn’t always a bad thing

Black Coffee
3 min readFeb 10, 2022


Before we start, I want to say that no one owes you anything. They don’t owe you a “hello” “goodbye” a smile or even reply to any of your messages.

If you have been communicating with someone or even dating, its common courtesy to reply or to let someone know that you don’t want to see them again, but it’s also important to understand that not everyone has been brought to think this way.

The first time I got ghosted hurt like hell. I had approached a woman I was attracted to on the street. We hit it off straight away, chatted for a few minutes, and she gave me her number.

A few days later I texted her, and we carried on where we left off.
We texted back and forth for about an hour and then for no apparent reason she disappeared never to be heard from again. I texted her a few days after but to no avail. Shocked and disappointed, I didn’t text her again, but went back over the messages to see what I did wrong. I even showed some friends who also didn’t find anything wrong with the exchange.

For what ever reason she didn’t want to message anymore. I didn’t take it personally and moved on.

A few months later I started using dating apps (which I wouldn't recommend) and ever since I have become more and more accustomed to being ghosted.

I have matched with women and had a good conversation and then been ghosted. I have had dates with women, and they have just disappeared. (I have since deleted all dating apps and never felt better).

Recently, I met a beautiful woman through a friend. We hit it off straight away and spent all night talking.

At the end of the night I took her number and a few days later sent her a message. She replied straight away and we exchanged a few more messages, before I asked her when she was free for a drink. She read the message but never answered.

Some guys might get angry or upset by this and turn to MGTOW or incels forums to vent, but I didn’t. Instead. I shrugged deleted her number and carried on with my day and the reason is very simple.

Mama used to say