When a woman goes cold and becomes distant

Black coffee explains what to do when a woman pulls back

Black Coffee


NPhoto by Gui Spinardi:

We've all been there. You've just spent a weekend with your girl, and she was a bit cold and distant and now you haven't heard from her for a few days when she usually texts you straight after the date.

You start to wonder what’s going on? Have I done something wrong? Does she want to break up with me? Should I reach out and message her?

Wait, right there buddy.


Now celebrate and use that time to catch up on your job, your friends, your family, that book you've been meaning to read or that extra workout. Basically, being productive and enjoying some time without her.

If a woman not messaging you for a few days to a week, breaks you down, you need to step away and find things that make you happy besides being with her because you may have more invested in the relationship than her.

If you’re honest with yourself. The reason you want to message her is that you’re feeling a little insecure and want to know where you stand with her, but the problem is trying to get this feeling of certainty can be a relationship turn off for women.

A woman should never be your world, she should be a compliment to your life.

Don't take it personally; there could be numerous reasons why she hasn't got in touch she may be busy, or going through something serious, or she may have a lot on at work.

The worst thing you can do is to start double texting her with “Hey, what's going on? Where are you at? Why aren’t you replying to me? What happened?

This makes you look like a psycho, and every woman has come across a psycho stalker type of guy.

Don't be that guy.

Which is why they have adapted methods to screen out stalkers, control freaks and abusive boyfriends by coming up with tests like pulling back.

She wants to see what you’re made of and if you have a life besides her, if she realizes you don’t she’ll either leave or she’ll make your life hell because she knows she has the upper hand, and you need her more than she needs you.